I grew up in a large Catholic family that was very close. I went to church every Sunday & developed a fear of God that kept me on the straight & narrow. I never wanted to disappoint my parents. During this time by the end of grade school, I felt God was a scorekeeping God, and the score was lopsided against me that was not coming back.
I also never felt like I fit in anywhere & I was never good enough. I soon found alcohol. This made all my inadequacies disappear. I drank for 10 years straight, got 2 DUI’s and quit drinking for 18 years. I never worked the AA program with everything I had and I went back out drinking, got 3 more DUI’s, and honestly should not have been alive.
I returned to AA and started again. This time, instead of believing in God, I chose to seek Him. A gentleman named Graham told me about the church he belonged to, Crossroads Westminster, and I started attending there. I mentioned it to a couple of friends in AA and now they come to Hampstead on Sundays as well as my wife.
I feel that I am still alive because I have a purpose. The purpose is to help others and share how Jesus changed me. I am now humbled knowing Jesus hasn’t given up on me and I can be a conduit between others and Him. It is freeing knowing that He has a plan for me & I just need to make the right decision when one arises. Being sober is a necessity but without a relationship with Jesus, life is not enjoyable.